Vacation in the time of COVID

It’s a tough time to travel.

Once upon a time, humans actually traveled to meet people and see things for themselves. Now tourists want to get back in circulation, but the covid virus had the idea first. We’re ready to bust of the house, but wherever we go the residents aren’t quite ready to bust out of the house to greet them. That leaves Michigan, with its scenic roadside attractions and high vaccination rates.

Michigan farm country has not only acres of corn and soybeans but also grape vines, and wineries have moved their tastings onto the terrace. These are not brewery tours, where you stop and smell the yeast. A winery tasting involves taking the tine to get familiar with one or two flights of wine, and then more time to forget about them and sober up. The first rule of tastings: Always leave something on the table.

I’m direction challenged even when fully caffeinated. Fortunately, we now have Siri to give directions. But she can be a bit chatty. She’ll start out saying, “Stay on I-94 for the next 80 miles,” but can’t leave it at that. “In two miles, stay on I-94.” ”In a quarter mile, use the left three lanes to stay on I-94.” Yes, Siri, I get it. Don’t stop for gas or Siri starts tapping the Apple Watch on your wrist. “Make a U-turn! Return to the route!” She’s entirely too anxious. Can’t she just enjoy the scenery?

Siri is always certain. Several times she instructed something like, “Take Rockland Road south,” followed immediately by “Take Rockland Road north.” She'd be more helpful to state, "The destination is around here somewhere." Can’t she read the signs? Still, it’s better to second-guess Siri than to get mad at the driver. "Shut up!" I'd say, which I realize is not helpful. I should be saying, "Siri, shut up!"

Under new management

Few tourist towns were built for tourists. Roadside attractions evolve from something else. One gallery was housed in a former cardboard box factory. If only the town had hung on for Amazon, they could have joined the booming supply chain business.

Quiet time in the galleries and wineries was fine, but we’re city people so we headed toward Detroit. It wasn’t quiet; buildings were going up all around us. But downtown was eerily deserted. We parked, walked around and had the place pretty much to ourselves. In case we got lonely we had Siri, though she didn’t have a handle on when stores would be open.

Here too the attractions were converted from something else. The Shinola Hotel was a sporting goods store. Down the street was another handsome building that used to be a bank. All the towns were like this. Where did all the banks go? They must have followed the money.

The money trail these days leads to casinos. Corktown is billed as Detroit’s hot new neighborhood but the MGM Grand seemed to be the only game in town. Detroit is rebuilding, but slowly. The scene outside my hotel was all construction equipment, which meant I wasn’t going to be sleeping in.

Thermal Sox

Fortunately, baseball stadiums are open. We wanted to see the White Sox clinch their division, and had our socially distant choice of seats to do so. Unfortunately, the Tigers weren’t cooperating. The Sox lost two games, the weather progressively chillier and rainier, then the rubber match was a washout. We had planned to go on to Toronto but the storms were worse. We decided to follow the Sox on their road trip.

This led to Cleveland, where the bank building is the casino. Our city tour was a scavenger hunt for cold weather gear we hadn’t brought. Who knew how hard it would be to find a pair of gloves in downtown Cleveland? A Tower City Center sports apparel store had a pair of Cleveland Browns work gloves. Close enough.

It was all smiles in the Indians' last stand before emerging next year as Guardians—especially for the White Sox, who clinched the division with a 7-2 win. We were happily seated behind the Sox dugout, dressed like a seven-layer salad, wondering how pitcher Lucas Giolito, signing autographs on the sidelines, stayed warm in his summer gear.

After a side trip to visit family, we were back in Michigan following historical markers. Marshall, east of Battle Creek, seemed to have more plaques than people. The signs mostly said the same thing. Someone with money and power built this. Or maybe, money men wanted to live in a house on the hill but were fine building whatever was currently trendy and ostentatious.

Masks required

Halloween starts early in Marshall, and the streets are lined with skeletons dressed for the occasion. There’s also a good deal of cosplay along Main Street, so I’m merely being descriptive when I say some witch was spending a lot of time in line ahead of me at the coffee shop.

My wife said there was an art show in town, but I was not expecting Bewitching Peddlers of Halloween, which drew artists and crafters from around the country. They produced finely detailed work that seemed almost too good to bring out only at Halloween. But hanging a Halloween scene on your wall year-round would be creepy.

Travelers get nostalgic over road food, or dyspeptic. Chicagoans steer toward familiar signs from childhood like Henry's Hamburgers in Benton Harbor. Travel diets start with free hotel breakfasts: tiny boxes of cereal, burnt toast with congealed peanut butter, hard-boiled eggs wrapped in plastic. You’d think we’d eat better the rest of the day. Then we pass the fudge shop or burger stand.

Fortunately there’s time to walk it off. We covered a lot of sidewalk, taking our outer layers on and off as the sun came and went. Masks always seem to be left on the sidewalk for no good reason. This puzzled me till I looked for my mask and realized it was back at the last place I stopped to shed clothing. I may need to keep my mask hanging from my chin like an Amish beard.

This was not a beach vacation. Maybe we should have planned more time in one place. But we started watching the sunset from the beach and finished watching from the car. Maybe we just needed to plan more time in a warmer place.

Finally, we were home with reservations for a decent dinner, which helped us get over our reservations about going back to work. Maybe it wasn’t much of a change in our routine; we’re going to a White Sox game tonight. It’s time to plan the next vacation, something more ambitious. Hope the virus doesn’t have the same plans.